outside realizations

God has given me so much.
But I think I am becoming blind when it comes to his creation and his love.
Im sitting here outside and just taking time to sit and listen.

Footsteps
Voices
Laughter
Birds
Wind
The buzzing of this bee
the rustling of bushes

I see these people...
God created each one.
A purpose was instilled in each one of them.
A purpose was instilled in me.

I have these times where I get angry with God because things arent going the way I want, or at the speed at which I want them to go.
But the whole time God is providing and Im ignoring.
I get uncomfortable when put in a situation that I ask for.
Why?
Im selfish.
Dont ask God to prove himself.

He doesnt need to.
Just look around outside.

Its a time of rebuilding for me. A time of questions. A time of faith.

Ive had this constant battle with faith for the last couple of months.
Faith that God will work everything out the way he wants it to go.
I really am terrified of change. I have become so comfortable that it is sickening.


Praying to be made uncomfortable is a huge prayer, so I hear. But at this point its what I want. A change. For God to be completely in control and for me to take the back seat. Cause right now, I'm driving and God is the passenger.

Haha...this is a bunch of thoughts in one blog.